Thank You for Loving Me

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Thank you for being patient. When I continually change my mind. When I take forever picking out what to wear. When I don’t know what I want, but I want it right now. When I throw up the medicine you just got for me.

Thank you for being kind. You rub my feet. You scratch my back to take my mind off the pain in my head. You get my medicine for me when I can’t get up. You hold me when I cry or scream. You say things to make me smile and laugh.

Thank you for being humble. You don’t make me feel bad for having migraines. You don’t put me down for having pain. You help me around the apartment keep it somewhat clean and going.

Thank you for choosing me. Everyday you have to put up with my shenanigans, and I know they aren’t all cute. But you choose to put up with all of them.

Thank you for putting me first. You let me drive the new car. You let me pick out where to eat. You cook supper when I am busy with school. You let me buy random things that I may or may not actually need.

Thank you for not getting angry; because we both know I am too sassy. You don’t get angry at me when I can’t do something because I have another migraine.

Thank you for forgiving me. When I say stupid things. When I get an attitude or don’t recognize all the things you do for me. When I mess up.

Thank you for being honest with me. You know there is not much you can do to help me with migraines. You tell me you wish you could do more, but you will do anything you can to help and I have never believed anyone more.

Thank you for believing in me. You encourage me when my plate seems full. You know I can succeed in my school work. You know I can push through the pain of migraines. You know I can be my best and you help me to be who I really want to be.

Thank you for looking ahead with me. You want me to be happy. You are letting me pursue my passion and what I really think the Lord wants me to do with my life, even if it means more long days of school and stressing over things for another 2 years.

Thank you for never giving up on me. Even when I want to quit, you help me keep going. When I want to settle, you push me to do something I love. You help me be the best version of myself.

Thank you for loving me; for choosing me. You are my husband and the only one I can imagine living the rest of this life with.

Thank you Lord for giving me him. You knew who I needed. I am forever thankful for him.

Beautifully Flawed

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So, this doesn’t come from a list of topics to write about, but it is something that has been on my mind a lot lately.

Perfection.

Growing up, both of my parents were perfectionists. I made the honor roll, I was the top runner on our cross country team and distance track, I cooked and cleaned for my mom (which required a lot) and was always on time or 5 minutes early.

Now, none of this is bad to say the least. But fast forward a few years in my life. I have a husband. I work full time. I take 19 hours of online classes as well. I battle migraines. And, I have a life.

It happened about two weeks ago; I was sobbing. I hate to admit it, but I was. I was sleepy, I was so frustrated with school and I realized the apartment was a mess and I didn’t make supper for my husband and myself. I lost it. I went to my bedroom and cried.

John (my husband) doesn’t quite know what to do with me yet when I cry, bless his heart. But he came in and tried to calm me down. He asked what was wrong and I unloaded. I told him I felt horrible because I had a C in one class, I had so much laundry to do, I hadn’t cleaned in a week and I just really wanted to sleep. He held me for a minute and said, “It’s okay you know?”

I said, “No it isn’t, I need to do better. I should be doing better. It isn’t perfect.” He looked at me and told me something I really needed to hear. He said, “You know, things aren’t always going to be perfect. The important part is that I know you are doing your very best. And that’s all you can do.”

Sometimes my best efforts aren’t enough to attain perfection. Sometimes my best efforts are going to result in a below A+ average or leave a pile of laundry. But I have to be okay with that. I have to realize that putting unrealistic expectations on myself only result in break-downs.

If you were raised to think as I was (that perfection is the only acceptable outcome) please, take a deep breath. Sometimes it is okay to not be perfect. It is most important that you are doing your very best. I still strive for perfection, but when I fall short, I have to be okay with the results. And I am thankful for a husband and a heavenly Father who love me despite my imperfections.

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Somewhere-Anywhere

This week has been crazy busy. Working full time, getting close to finals with all 19 hours this semester and, of course, football season in full swing. But, somehow I managed to leave time to see my best friend, Anna, (yes, the one I aspire to be more like!) who came back in town after 6 months. Whew. I am tired just thinking over my past week.

So, living in Starkville is fun. Football, family, friends. And they say home is where the heart is. As cliche as it sounds, I honestly feel this way. As long as I am with John, I think I would be happy.

But, if I am being honest, I don’t love living in Starkville. I get tired of the University dictating the happenings of the town and sports being the main activity. I mean, I love a good football game, but it gets old after a while! (Don’t tell my husband….haha.)

So, if I wasn’t here, where would I like to be living? I have thought about this a lot. I think I would still like to be in Mississippi (or pretty close) because my family is here. I also like the idea of living in Tennessee. Far enough away, but not too far. Nashville has always held a certain mystique in my mind. I love music and the thought of living in music city sounds so fun! So much going on that doesn’t have to do with sports may also be part of the draw.

If I was thinking really outside the box, I think living in New York, New York, even for a short time, would be quite the adventure. It would be so different from what I have been used to my whole life. It would be out of my comfort zone for sure. But the thought of wandering the busy city streets or working in a high rise building sounds exciting. But I think after a year or so I would long for the small towns and slower pace.

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Football Season-A Wilson Tradition

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My best friend Bek hanging with me at a basketball game

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Anna and John being the coolest friends ever

I am a small town girl at heart.

I Want to be More Like That

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First off, I mentioned in my post “All About Me…Sort Of” that I have two different colored eyes. Here is a closeup of my eye color I dug up. I promise it is unedited. Left is blue, right is green. So there you go!

Moving on, I have been thinking about the question, who do I look up to? To be honest, there are several people in my life that I admire greatly. My husband received his masters in mechanical engineering and now works for MSU. He is smart, kind and a wonderful leader. I have a brother I admire for his pursuit of becoming a police officer (something he has always wanted) and his dedication to his wife and baby boy. But if I had to pick out one person I really look up to and even want to be more like, I would probably have to say Anna.

Anna Thompson has been my friend since I was about 15. She and I have grown closer in the past few years and I can’t imagine life without her.

Anna is the hardest working person I know-and she does anything with the best attitude. She has keeps her siblings at peace (which is a feat since she is the second eldest of 12!). To say she helped plan my wedding would be a horrid understatement. She kept me sane, went dress shopping with me, helped me make decisions, made table decorations, went with me on shopping trips to Memphis with my mother-in-law…the list goes on and on. She helps without any thought of getting something in return. I want to be more like that.

Anna brings joy to whatever room she is in. She encourages so many with her smile and positive spin on any situation. She makes friends wherever she goes because she is so kind. I want to be more like that.

Anna is a beautiful young woman, inside and out. She is smart, can sing, and anyone that can put up with me for going on ten years has to have the patience of a saint. I want to be more like that.

So who is my role model? She isn’t old and “successful”. She isn’t rich or famous. She isn’t in the spotlight. But that is what I love so much about her. She wouldn’t want a spotlight. She is who she is no matter the situation. I want to be more like that. So much of loveMy Sister  BFF

Where Words Fail, Music Speaks

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Music. How do I even begin. Johnny Depp said, “Music touches us emotionally where words alone can’t.”

I think that is the wonder in music. It brings out more emotion than would be possible by writing or speaking. It combines a melody with feelings. I saw an anonymous quote that said, “With the right music you either forget everything or remember everything.” In general, when I am listening to music, I am trying to accomplish one of these two things. Whether I had a bad day and I am trying to drown it out with music, or reminiscing over memories, I rarely lack a soundtrack to my life.

At different times I had different favorite songs.  I remember being younger loving “Mississippi Girl” by Faith Hill. I moved to Mississippi a few years before and was finally feeling at home. That was 10 years ago! In more recent years my musical tastes have broadened. I love all kinds of music, unless you consider rap music…that’s where you lose me.

I really loved “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten. I would play it when I ran (which, if you remember from last post, I hate!). It motivated me to keep going and get back in the groove of running after an injury. It helped me push through the pain and had a great rhythm to pace myself with.

It is so hard to pick out a favorite song. Right now, I am, with the rest of the world, overplaying the new Adele song, “Hello”. (I am listening to it right now for about the fifth time today…at least.) If her voice isn’t enough to bring emotion, the words are so moving, I cannot get enough of it.

I guess that is what I look for in a song. A voice that can stand alone, but when paired with the right words and melody can move anyone to tears. I have heard Carrie Underwood, Michael Buble, Adele, Ellie Goulding, Charlie Puth, Harry Connick Jr., and so many more combine their talent and the songwriter’s and make something truly beautiful and inspiring.

My go-to song is probably Train’s “Drops of Jupiter”. I feel like everyone knows it and for some reason I have always liked it. Maybe it’s because John will actually sing along with me for this one. It makes me smile every time.

But who knows, tomorrow I may find a new go-to. Depends on where the melody takes you, right?

All About Me…Sort Of

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What are five things most people don’t know about me? Well, that is hard. Most people I know know me pretty well. But if you don’t, here are five things about me.

Number one, I have a green eye and a blue eye. Some people have gone years without realizing this, but some meet me and blurt it out. I had one girl shaking my hand for the first time exclaim, “Oh my gosh! You have the coolest eyes! The left is blue and the right is green.” I was shocked she noticed. A friend I had known for several years was standing by and said, “Really? I have never noticed.” But it is true.

Second? I hate to run. This surprises some people because growing up I did track, cross country and soccer. But now that I am older and working I hate to take the time out of my day to do it.

A third thing most people don’t know about me is my age. I swear people thing I am a teenager still, and since I am taking online classes, it generally supports their idea. But I am 24. I try to act VERY mature and dress very professionally since I go to a lot of business meetings these days. I think it is helping.

Fourth? I am not a cat person. I promise. But I adopted a kitten. And I love her! Gilmore is the sweetest animal I have had, other than my rescue pup, Adeleigh.

Oh, that can be number five. Adeleigh is my rescue dog. She is a Belgian malinois mix and so precious. I named her Adeleigh because it is Swiss for princess. I name all of my dogs Swiss names because my grandmother was from Switzerland. (My dog back home is Henri, named after a Swiss general!)

Well, that about sums it up. I know, it is pretty boring. I could probably go on with pet peeves or my favorite things, but this gives you an idea of who I am. I am a 24-year-old, two-toned eyes girl who hates to run, but loves her animals and Swiss lineage.

Change?

“Do not fear change – embrace it.” –Arnold J. d’Angelo

Change. I hate change. In fact, you may find that I avoid it like the plague. I rather like my small town existence where things don’t change much. The traffic lights blink in the evenings and on Sundays, the restaurants all serve fried foods and tea (you have to ask for the unsweetened stuff here) and family is just a short drive, or even walk, away. When I go out to eat I don’t generally branch out much and almost passed on fried calamari as a result – which could have been simply ghastly. But I am the girl that goes in and gets her “usual” with a glass of sweet tea – also her usual.

I am not sure why I don’t enjoy change. Variety is the spice of life and I love “spice” in life, I truly do. But my spice is generally satisfied by short trips, a new pair of shoes or styling my hair differently. (*Note: Styling is different from cutting…I keep mine long, as usual. )

As I grow up I am finding this aversion to change to be quite inconvenient. See, life is all about change. Everything from school to family and friends change over time. Think about it.

School moves on each year to a new grade and new things to learn (ideally that is.)

Family? We grow up, move, marry, die, and add new little ones.

Friendships change, whether you grow closer and closer through the various times in life or become more distant – things change.

God’s creation is constantly changing. Seasons come and go as all things seem to. Seeing all this change has made me realize something. I cannot fear change. When I see it all around me I fear what it may bring. Some may call it contentment – being happy with where the Lord has me. But inside I know it is more likely to be complacency. I am far more willing to avoid change at all cost and in so doing miss the opportunities these life changes might bring.

Christ Jesus’ disciples had to see change in a rather painful way – at first – because Christ had to die in order to be resurrected. And salvation, that would change the whole world, could only be achieved through this process of change. But He knew the changes that were about to take place. He saw the possible fears of His disciples, for after resurrection He would ascend into heaven and they would have been alone. But He comforted them. He said in John 14:26-27 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” He told them of the Spirit which would come and be with them and guide them through this change and the rest of their lives!

As Ecclesiastes points out in chapter three, there is a time for everything. Seasons of the earth so closely mirror the seasons in my life it’s astounding! Winter covers the old with frost (and in some areas they have a thing called “snow” that falls like a white blanket!) and as the old growth dies it leaves room for the new to come in the spring. The spring flourishes and prepares the plants for the strong heat of summer. The summer heat proves the ability in the plant to survive. Then there is fall where the colors change and you see the new places that will be cleaned out in the coming winter.

In my life, I know the Lord is covering my sins with His blood to make them white as snow, but He wants the old sins dead and gone. The places they leave cleared will provide plenty of places for new growth. Just as the plants are given everything they need to grow, I have been given everything I need for life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3) The summer heat reminds me of the fire of trials that test and prove our faith. Then comes fall; fall has its’ beautiful changes and reveals the beauty of new growth that is matured and changed.

Through all this change which I am trying to “learn to love,” I have some comfort. My God is the same yesterday, today and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) His faithfulness never changes—but His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3). He is my guide forever and ever (Psalm 48:14) and will keep me in perfect peace when my mind is stayed on Him (Isaiah 26:3). He has everlasting strength and power. His compassions fail not.

Change does not equal pain. It doesn’t always feel pleasant to be changed, being made to be the image of Christ. In the end though, isn’t that what I asked for? I wanted to be changed – from being in slavery to sin to being a slave of Christ! I want my old self to pass away so that all things can be made new! (2 Corinthians 5:17) I want this life to belong to God and to show forth His praise and glory! I want to change to line myself and my whole life with His perfect and holy image.

Being a Christian is change. It is giving up the old for the blessed hope of the new in the life to come and also here on this world.

It is a changing of ownership.

It’s true. I cannot fear change. Yes, by all means, I must be content – but not complacent or stagnant! I must be willing to embrace the change God has for my life and follow hard after the One thing in life that will never change – the One who makes change happen. I must cling to His faithfulness and roll with the punches of life to find the image He desires for me to be conformed to.

So bring on the change…but I will still keep my sweet tea.